The Declaration of Independence of thefe United Statef of America

The United States' Declaration of Independence may well be the most cited yet least read or understood document in American history.

Some have suggested over the years that each responsible U.S. citizen should take the occasion of the Nation's birthday to read that precious document every year, something like pausing at Thanksgiving to give thanks or at New Year's to ponder what's past and ahead.

Obviously, we can't require that. But The Ticket can facilitate that. So here it is, in its historic entirety. For those who are curious to see how the document evolved, the wording refined and trimmed, through several writings, including those funny s's that look like f's, they can view side-by-side versions right here. And for those who'd like a little musical accompaniment, click the Faith Hill video down below.

The final version is right here with paragraphs edited for length for typographical purposes on this modern webpage.

IN CONGRESS, JULY 4, 1776

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen United States of America:

When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

— That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed,

— That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed.

But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.

— Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States.

To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to...

... compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence.

They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare,

That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do.

— And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.

— John Hancock

New Hampshire:
Josiah Bartlett, William Whipple, Matthew Thornton

Massachusetts:
John Hancock, Samuel Adams, John Adams, Robert Treat Paine, Elbridge Gerry

Rhode Island:
Stephen Hopkins, William Ellery

Connecticut:
Roger Sherman, Samuel Huntington, William Williams, Oliver Wolcott

New York:
William Floyd, Philip Livingston, Francis Lewis, Lewis Morris

New Jersey:
Richard Stockton, John Witherspoon, Francis Hopkinson, John Hart, Abraham Clark

Pennsylvania:
Robert Morris, Benjamin Rush, Benjamin Franklin, John Morton, George Clymer, James Smith, George Taylor, James Wilson, George Ross

Delaware:
Caesar Rodney, George Read, Thomas McKean

Maryland:
Samuel Chase, William Paca, Thomas Stone, Charles Carroll of Carrollton

Virginia:
George Wythe, Richard Henry Lee, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Harrison, Thomas Nelson, Jr., Francis Lightfoot Lee, Carter Braxton

North Carolina:
William Hooper, Joseph Hewes, John Penn

South Carolina:
Edward Rutledge, Thomas Heyward, Jr., Thomas Lynch, Jr., Arthur Middleton

Georgia:
Button Gwinnett, Lyman Hall, George Walton     ###

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It's no garden party when anti-tax crusaders gather for a 'tea party'

Times columnist Chris Erskine, who has been known to wax poetic about sports and the life of a suburban dad (both Erskine specialties), decided to take in an anti-tax Tea Party the other day. As the Ticket has reported, people all over the country have attended them. Erskine writes:

You might have caught wind of this tea party movement, sometimes dubbed TEA (Taxed Enough Already). It first appeared in late February, with scattered protests around the nation, then grew to a reported 500 events on tax day, April 15. The grass-roots movement has sort of taken off, becoming more than a hiccup and less than a full-fledged revolt.

There were some 1,400 tea party rallies scheduled across the nation this Independence Day weekend, billed as nonpartisan efforts to rein in tax-and-spend politicians. Significant? You be the judge. Honestly, I could come down two different ways on all of this: In times so tough, isn’t it a little cold-hearted to complain about paying your fair share? Or, are people so fed up with dishing out huge chunks of their income — and receiving so little visible benefit — that they think their “fair share” isn’t so fair anymore?

Erskine goes on to describe what transpires when anti-tax crusaders rallied recently in suburban Los Angeles.

If you’ve never been to an anti-tax tea party, here’s the deal. There are a lot of good Americans — about 500 at this rally — sitting around a stage in molded plastic chairs trying to stay awake. Tea is in short supply, and oddly, there is no beer (Huey Long would’ve sent an entire Budweiser truck). But the burgers are good, and the music — some live, some recorded — is stirring.

What more does a political rally need? A few characters.

To read about those characters, click here for his whole column. In typical Erskine fashion, he blends humor (“Have you looked at a dollar bill lately? George Washington is weeping”) with on-point portraits of people being themselves. You might find them admirable, or appalling, and maybe even a little bit of both at once.

-- Steve Padilla

The Ticket, which always pays its taxes, goes inside politics several times a day. Click here for Twitter alerts of each new item. Or follow us @latimestot

Sunday Shows: Biden, Powell, Grassley and Queen Noor

ABC’s This Week with George Stephanopoulos: Vice President Joe Biden.

CBS’ Face the Nation with Bob Schieffer: Adm. Mike Mullen, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff; Sens. Charles E. Grassley (R-Iowa) and Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.).

CNN’s GPS with Fareed Zakaria: David Miliband, British foreign minister; author Dambisa Moyo; author Jacqueline Novogratz.

CNN’s State of the Union with John King: Former Secretary of State Colin Powell; Mullen; Queen Noor of Jordan.

Fox News Sunday with Chris Wallace: Mullen; Reps. Steny Hoyer (D-Md.) and John Boehner (R-Ohio).

NBC’s Meet the Press: Pre-empted by coverage of Wimbledon tennis.

-- Steve Padilla

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Photo: Associated Press

Palin's resignation speech has shades of Nixon's 1962 concession address

Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin's announcement that she was bowing out of Alaska politics on the eve of the Fourth of July holiday left a lot of viewers scratching their heads. As the Ticket reported Friday, Palin's friends report that she is genuinely sick of the attacks that seem to be part of the fabric of national politics these days.

But Palin's hastily announced press conference also had all the earmarks of Richard Nixon's famous concession speech in 1962, after he lost the campaign for California governor to Democrat Pat Brown. Nixon's rant was also a last-minute affair. Reporters had been told that Nixon -- a former congressman and senator who served as Dwight D. Eisenhower's vice president from 1952 to 1960 and lost the 1960 presidential race to John F. Kennedy -- would not be making a public appearance.

Instead, Nixon surprised even his staff by taking the microphone and, at the end of a long, rambling, 16-minute discourse on national and state politics, he dramatically left the stage.

I leave you gentleman now and you will write it. You will interpret it. That's your right. But as I leave you I want you to know — just think how much you're going to be missing. You won't have Nixon to kick around any more, because, gentlemen, this is my last press conference and it will be one in which I have welcomed the opportunity to test wits with you.

Like Nixon, Palin seemed fraught with emotion. Like Nixon, she seemed angry at her critics.

Listen to the audio of Nixon's infamous speech via the History Channel and then watch the Palin speech below. Let us know what you think.

Of course to the surprise of his detractors, Nixon recovered. He spent the next six years stumping the country, piling up chits from grateful politicians who benefited from his endorsements, chits he cashed in during his successful 1968 run for the presidency.

Palin gave no hints of her future, except to say that a person can influence from outside the electoral process as well as inside the governor's office. Maybe Palin, who landed on the national political map in August when Republican John McCain plucked her from Wasilla, Alaska, as his vice presidential running mate, is planning to follow the Nixon playbook on that front too.

-- Johanna Neuman

Photo: Nixon gives his "Checkers" speech on Sept. 23, 1952. Credit: Associated Press

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Weekly Remarks: McCain-U.S. must speak out on Iran; Obama-Happy 4th and we need health reform

This week's Republican speaker may look somewhat familiar to Americans. John McCain was recently his party's unsuccessful candidate for president and is aspiring to earn a fifth term to the U.S. Senate in next year's November elections.

In recent week's he has taken up in no uncertain terms the cause of Iran's freedom demonstrators and made an emotional Senate speech about them and the slain young woman known now as Neda, as The Ticket reported here with a video.

Today he speaks out again, saying that on its 233d birthday, this country has a "mortal obligation" to speak in support of the courageous protesters in Tehran. McCain, who spent nearly six years as a POW without freedom in North Vietnam, dismisses outright the claim that Iran's current rulers will then blame the U.S. for the turmoil, saying they already are and we haven't spoken out.

The president's remarks also celebrate the nation's birthday. He uses the founders' brave spirit to say we need the same attitude now to change many things in this country including schools and the healthcare system.

He says, without naming names, that many would keep the existing healthcare system, although the recent debate seems more about how to change the existing system by adding the government component, not whether to keep it. And how much all this will cost Americans, at least those not covered by the broad congressional/federal plans.

-- Andrew Malcolm

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Weekly Republican Remarks by Sen. John McCain of Arizona

Hi, I’m Senator John McCain.

Today, we celebrate our independence, declared 233 years ago, achieved through the trial of a long and difficult war, and preserved through the years with the blood and sacrifice of millions. It’s an occasion for Americans to reunite with family and enjoy a mid-summer holiday with picnics and barbeques, ballgames and golf, and other recreation. 

Our appreciation for what happened on a hot summer day in Philadelphia all these years ago is often limited to a fleeting, warm feeling about an ancient generation of Americans who....

Critics of soon-to-be-ex-Gov. Sarah Palin react, well, critically

After her sudden resignation announcement today, one of Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin's fiercest critics, Avis executive Andrew Halcro, who ran against her in 2006, warns there is a rocky road ahead for Palin. Today on his blog he wrote:

Over the last few weeks there has been growing criticism on both the state and national level about Palin. In addition, local bloggers have raised speculations about damaging information about Palin that was coming down the road.

A few weeks ago, Dennis Zaki posted on his popular website a cryptic message about a pending bombshell that had to do with an investigation into Palin's finances.

Last week, local blogger Linda Kellen-Biegal successfully raised roughly $6,000 to pay the cost associated with a freedom of information request of emails between the Palin administration and local talk show host and close friend of Palins, Eddie Burke. The emails were due to be released in a few days.

Democratic Anchorage businessman Bob Poe, who's also running for governor and had thought it would be against Palin, was reached on the campaign trail on Resurrection Bay in Seward at a Fourth of July celebration. He was serving reindeer sausage, he said, and talking politics.

He said he was not surprised by Palin's resignation, effective July 26, because he felt when she returned to Alaska after the Republicans' national defeat in November, she seemed disengaged. But to interpret her resignation as a departure from politics, he said, would be a mistake.

“She did what is rational, which is to free herself up for what she has come to recognize is her real goal, which is to run for president," said Poe. "To assume her ambition is dying is incorrect. She’s got this lucrative book deal, and a national book tour would be a way to run for president. She wouldn’t be hassled with the tedious business of running state government. She already moved on, and now she’s just made it official.”

 Political analyst Michael Carey, former Anchorage Daily News editorial page editor and host of a public TV program, said he was dismayed that Palin quit before her term was up.

“I think it’s irresponsible for her to quit as governor,” said Carey. “It’s not like she’s infirm or in poor health.” Instead, he said, her attitude seems to be that being governor is “too hard, and I want to run on a national scale and get the hell out of Dodge. Neither of those is defensible.”

 Anchorage activist Andree McLeod, who has filed several unsuccessful ethics complaints against Palin, said "It's a great day for Alaska."

She added: "Sarah Palin has been milking the office of governor for her personal benefit and that’s just not right. All the records that I have got for the past year point to Sarah Palin putting her personal financial interest before the state’s. I think she is stepping out of politics. She is not wired to be a public servant; she does not have a servant’s heart."

McLeod said she's planning to file another complaint against Palin, this time about what she said is the governor's failure to disclose gifts, as required by law. "She's still the governor," said McLeod.

-- Robin Abcarian

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Statements by Sarah Palin, her successor, Sean Parnell, Michael Steele

Statement and News Release by Alaska Republican Gov. Sarah Palin, Wasilla, July 3, 2009

NO SECOND TERM;  NO LAME DUCK SESSION EITHER

July 3, 2009, Anchorage, Alaska – Governor Sarah Palin announced today that she will not seek a second term as Governor of the State of Alaska and will relegate the power of governor to Lieutenant Governor Sean Parnell in order to serve Alaska’s best interests.  Lieutenant General Craig Campbell will move into Parnell’s current role.

“People who know me know that besides faith and family, nothing's more important to me than our beloved Alaska,” said Governor Palin.  “Serving her people is the greatest honor I could imagine.”

Standing outside her home in Wasilla, Alaska, Governor Palin reflected upon some of the administration’s accomplishments for Alaska as she approaches her final year in office.

I am determined to take the right path for Alaska even though it is not the easiest path,” said Governor Palin after the announcement. 

Once I decided not to run for re-election, I also felt that to embrace the conventional ‘Lame Duck’ status in this particular climate would just be another dose of ‘politics as usual,’ something I campaigned against and will always oppose. 

It is my duty to always protect our great state. With that in mind, my family and I determined that it is....

Analysis of Sarah Palin's strange move: Timeout or Flameout?

First, a few political givens:

These are different, changing times in U.S. politics.

The last three presidents each emerged from nowhere and achieved the White House on their first bid, though Bill Clinton and George W. Bush each had governor’s terms and reelections under their belts.

But what had Barack Obama ever accomplished as a freshman senator before announcing and achieving his desire for promotion? (And not finishing his first term either.)

The emergence of social media and online networking have created a whole new political environment beneath traditional media radar with untapped and unknown opportunities for unconventional politicians.

Sarah Palin is just such an unconventional politician, with surprising upsets in her past, a down-to-earth manner so different from the tired old suits you’ll see jabbering on morning TV this Sunday. And she has an astounding approval rate among her conservative base.

Most expected Palin not to run next year for reelection, like Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty, who now has the time and option to gear up for a 2012 presidential run.

Hardly anyone expected her to quit the governor’s office and turn it over to Lt. Gov. Sean Parnell on July 26, despite Palin’s slipped popularity at home. (Full Palin text here.)

Professionals watching a withdrawal like this conventionally and immediately wonder, what bad news don't we know about her that's about to come out? Is there some scandal, indictment or personal revelation that would cause her to step down even before its announcement? Friday, especially a pre-holiday Friday, is usually a time to announce what you don't want heard much.

But here’s why friends say she’s really doing it:

Palin is genuinely sick of, as she calls it, “the crap” that comes with national politics, especially the....

Palin 'doing what's best for Alaska' in stepping down as governor

Sarah Palin picked a slow news day before a holiday to shake up the political world, saying she will step down as governor of Alaska but leaving open the question of her political future.

“We've got to put first things first. I love my job and I love Alaska. I am doing what’s best for Alaska,” Palin said at a televised news conference in her hometown of Wasilla.

Palin said she hoped people were not disappointed by the decision, which she said had been in the works for some time. She said she was taking “my fight for what’s right in a new direction.” She said she could be more effective and better serve Alaska and the country from outside the governor's office.

At a news conference before the Fourth of July weekend, Palin said she would step aside and be replaced by Lt. Gov. Sean Parnell on July 26. She said the transition of power would be smooth and took no questions.

Palin, who is very popular with the GOP’s conservative base, was considered a possibility for the 2012 GOP presidential nomination. Not being governor would free her to concentrate on accumulating resources for a national race. Palin did not say that’s what she intended to do.

Palin said she was willing to transfer power so that the current Alaska administration can continue.

“My choice is to take a stand and effect change and not just hit our head against the wall,” Palin said. She was surrounded by her family and top state officials.

“Millions of dollars go down the drain in this new political environment,” she said.

“Rather, we know we can effect positive change outside government,” she continued and  “actually make a difference.”

Palin criticized recent political attacks, including one from former campaign aides of Arizona Sen. John McCain, who was the top of the GOP ticket.

“You are naive if you don’t see a full-court press from the national level picking away a good point guard,” she said, referring to criticism of her campaigning style. The most recent attack was in a magazine article in Vanity Fair magazine.

[Update: Palin was in her first term as governor, elected in 2006. Despite bickering with the state Legislature, she would probably have been reelected next year, and may have done serious damage to her political aspirations by stepping down now, according to Ivan Moore, an independent pollster in Anchorage.

"I don’t minimize how she is revered by the Republican right, nationally,” Moore said. “But at the end of the day, to become president she’s going to have to convince that 5% or 10% of people in the middle, ideologically, that she and McCain didn’t convince last year, and those people are not going to be impressed that in her first four years sitting in high office she quit halfway through."

Moore said Palin would have been a strong favorite to win a second term, even though her popularity has fallen from past heights. Her approval rating is still in the 50% to 55% range, he said.

The betting in Alaska was that she would not seek a second term, but would likely wait until next spring to make her announcement to stave off being a lame duck.

Today’s announcement came out of the blue. "It’s a gobsmacking, jaw-hit-the-ground, total kind of surprise," Moore said.

Stuart Rothenberg, an independent analyst and publisher of the Rothenberg Political Report, said Palin’s announcement won’t help her end the portrayal of her as a lightweight.

"It’s very, very curious,” he said. “There almost has to be more to this because people don’t just step down from a state’s top office in the middle of a term.”

"I always thought after the [2008] race, the thing she needed to do was go back to Alaska and be substantive, show she’s got a grasp of government and work for the folks back home. This seems to be the exact opposite," he said.

But Scott Reed, a Republican strategist, unaffiliated for 2012, said today’s announcement could be a good thing because it allows Palin to turn the page and start rebuilding her image.

He described the Vanity Fair piece as a “hit job” that showed her she had to shake things up. Stepping down “allows her to begin to draw a new narrative on herself,” he said.

“If anything,” this “allows her to have a brand new day, a fresh start and she can shake all these cobwebs from the last campaign and her term as governor and start over,” he said.]

-- Michael Muskal and Mark Z. Barabak

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Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin says she won't seek reelection

Sarah Palin, the GOP’s embattled former vice presidential candidate, will not run again for governor of Alaska, prompting speculation that she is considering a presidential race in 2012.

Palin made the announcement at her hometown of Wasilla.

[Update: At a news conference before the Fourth of July weekend, Palin said she would step aside as governor and be replaced by Lt. Governor Sean Parnell, according to local television reports. Palin took no questions.]

-- Michael Muskal

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Obama to Kobe, Lakers fans: Michael Jordan is the greatest!

Noted Chicagoan and basketballophile Barack Obama appears to be writing off the California vote in 2012, at least the basketball fans around Los Angeles.

In a pre-holiday interview with the Associated Press, Obama was asked who was the better player -- six-time NBA champion Michael Jordan or four-time champion Kobe Bryant?

Without even a moment's hesitation, the ex-senator from Illinois blurted out, "Oh, Michael!"

Then, apparently realizing what he'd just said and the profound impact on any 2012 election, the new president hastened to add: "I mean, Kobe's terrific. Don't get me wrong. But I haven't seen anybody match up with Jordan yet."

Too late.

Obama correctly picked the Los Angeles Lakers to thump the Orlando whatevers in the NBA Finals this year. And he was also right in picking North Carolina to win the NCAA championship this spring.

But then he also picked tax delinquent Tom Daschle as secretary of Health and Human Services.

Now, we'll see how the left-handed White Sox fan does on the mound at the upcoming All-Star Game in St. Louis.

-- Andrew Malcolm

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Photos: Associated Press

Sanford, sex and Maria: A case study in damaging damage control

Didja hear the story of the teenager who approaches his mother with a small cut on his finger?

Well, how'd you get that? she asks, reaching for the disinfectant.

From the glass, he says.

What glass? she asks calmly.

From the windshield.

The what?! says the startled mother.

It shattered.

What? Why?

In the big traffic accident.

What big traffic accident?

The one with all the cars and trucks. At the fire.

At what? Where?

The big explosion.

Wait, I don't....

We were all trying to avoid the stampeding elephants.

And on and on. Does this remind anyone of a particular governor in recent days?

The basic rule of political damage control is: Get it all out yourself fast and accurately. No loose ends. No stretchers, as Mark Twain would say. Take your hard hit one, maybe....

Budget keeps Schwarzenegger in California--and away from Vegas

Sigh -- another California tourist lost.

Gov. Arnold Schwarzeneggerwas scheduled to appear in Nevada today to celebrate the extension of the California High Speed Rail Corridor to Las Vegas. But there were 29,000 IOUs between him and a Sin City trip.

Instead, Caltrans Director Will Kemptonexplained Schwarzenegger’s absence to a group sweating under a white canopy downtown. "There’s something about a budget crisis in Sacramento. ... Believe me, he’d rather be in Las Vegas," Kempton said.

Wondering what he missed? Here’s a rundown: The corridor extension should help Southern California-to-Vegas rail projects secure government loans. Two have been competing for, in particular, the backing of Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid(D-Nev.): a somewhat troubled project, which would link to Anaheim, and the DesertXpress, a high-speed train to Victorville. (Yes, that’s the housing-crunched Inland Empire city where a developer recently bulldozed homes.)

Today, Reid -- joined by U.S. Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood-- reiterated his support for DesertXpress, which is privately financed, closer to breaking ground and backed by Sig Rogich, a Republican heavyweight who’s supporting Reid’s reelection efforts.

California’s Governator also missed the view from downtown Vegas: a concrete truck, homes with barred windows, a rent-by-the-month motel and a bail bonds shop. Almost made Sacramento seem delightful. Almost.

-- Ashley Powers